Three more years . . . still "I will Trust in You"

What being a MOM looks like . . . can change from year to year.

 Lily and me

   I can't believe that it has been THREE YEARS since my last post in this blog. For those of you who have never read it, going through each post will tell you the story of our family's journey in pursuing adoption. I have thought of posting here over the past year or two, but, I think I have been afraid . . . .afraid of disappointment, as I see the dreams I have had being unmet. I read through each post this morning, and instead of bringing sadness, it brings me great joy!  

  Our family recently went to a movie called "Miracles from Heaven" at the $1.50 theater. It was one of those SC afternoons, when it was too hot to do anything else. I made a point of avoiding watching the trailers, so we could all be surprised in what the movie was about. Boy, talk about a tear jerker . . . every person in our family cried at least three times. We couldn't stop talking about it over the next few days. It got each one of us to thinking and it continues to speak to me as our family is experiencing a big change in our adoption journey. A big theme we got from the movie, is that there a many little miracles going on around us all the time, and God can use us to participate in the miracles too . . . sometimes things that seem really horrible, can actually turn into something AMAZING! We can look back and see how all the steps connect and lead us to where we are now .. . .it didn't make sense before, but, if we TRUST God and keep FAITH, sometimes a MIRACLE can reveal itself.

Our little guy in the hospital

 If you take the time to look back through my blog posts, you will learn that ADOPTION has been a part of my life since childhood. It continued into my marriage, as Phil and I started our first homestudy in the summer of 2008 . . . first SC DSS, then Africa, then Haiti, and now back to South Carolina Dept. of Social Services . . . the story has come full circle, but, always felt called to adopt a little boy.  Since that summer, God lit a fire within me, something I can't explain . . . a drive that carried me through all the paperwork, all the home visits, all the fundraising, all the failed attempts to raise enough money to adopt internationally . . .Phil and I have pondered giving up on adopting all together SOOO many times . . . . yet, we didn't . . .God was calling us to hang in there . . . to take in one more foster child (even though our hearts were worn).

   Just like in the movie we watched, there were many pieces to a puzzle, but, we couldn't see them all yet.  What I didn't know that Summer of 2008, is that there was a sweet baby boy being born in South Carolina that very summer. I didn't know that he would be on a journey of heartbreak and losses of his own over these past 8 years. When his teen mom couldn't care for him, his great-grandma became his mom for most of his life, until she passed away just over a year ago. Then, he moved from place to place, suffering from a medical condition, not receiving proper care, not being protected or provided for. As I was searching for our little boy for 8 years, he was waiting for a safe place . . . . God knew . . . God knew when he would need us most. 

   I received a call from DSS 9 months ago . . . we had just moved into a new house and were worn out. It was NOT a "good" time to take in a child, but, they begged for us to just take him for the weekend. They promised to find him another placement on Monday (what we didn't know, was that was going to be a group home). My mom instincts told me within the first 2 hours that something wasn't quite right with his health. I called in for a sub and took him to the doctor the next morning. I won't go in to all the details, but, we spent the next 48 hours together in the hospital. His intestines were completely malfuctioning, and I had to change his diaper every 20 to 30 minutes during our stay. I know it sounds so strange, but, as I was wiping this poor little guy's bottom, I felt a whisper from God . . ."he is a gift"  . . . . "you are bonding with him, just like you would if you gave birth to him." God told me that this stressful, exhausting, and scary visit to the hospital was actually a GIFT.  

   Phil and I talked and prayed at length during that 48 hours, and one thing was clear . . .we would keep him . . . God's timing is not our timing . .  .but He knows what He is doing. It has been 9 months now. . . our little man is turning 8 soon. We still don't know the final chapter to this story, so I have been hesitant to be vulnerable . . .to put this out there . . . for fear of it "not working out" like the other adoption pursuits. What God is telling me this morning, is that I need to keep TRUSTING him and keep FAITH that He has a MIRACLE in the works. I don't know exactly what that miracle is or the details of it, but, the glimpse He has been giving lately is awesome!  There are good days and there are really hard days . . . being foster parents is not always easy. . . but, God's presence is evident . . .and that is enough for now.

     In each season of my life, I have a "theme song" of sorts . . . one that makes me cry whenever I hear it. Over these past 8 years pursuing adoption, I have had many "theme songs."  Right now, the words to Lauren Daigle's TRUST IN YOU, get me every time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_aVFVveJNs 

"Trust In You"

Letting go of every single dream
I lay each one down at Your feet 
Every moment of my wandering
Never changes what You see

I’ve tried to win this war I confess
My hands are weary I need Your rest
Mighty Warrior, King of the fight
No matter what I face, You’re by my side

When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

Truth is, You know what tomorrow brings 
There’s not a day ahead You have not seen
So, in all things be my life and breath
I want what You want Lord and nothing less

When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

You are my strength and comfort
You are my steady hand
You are my firm foundation; the rock on which I stand

Your ways are always higher
Your plans are always good
There’s not a place where I’ll go, You’ve not already stood

When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

I will trust in You!
I will trust in You!
I will trust in You!

Climbing to new heights TOGETHER!

Trusting God as we WAIT for His next chapter in our Journey - The Dante's

Acceptance . . . Redemption . . . . Adoption

 

 

I can't believe there are only four full weeks of summer vacation left for this old middle school teacher . . . I've crossed over that halfway mark. Every summer has it's own unique family fun memories, but, this one is definitely a special milestone for all of us. This summer is our first season of working hard as a family in the pursuit of adoption. Rather than just kicking back and relaxing every day at the pool, we have spent quite a few days like the one pictured above or going door to door selling donuts. It may not sound very appealing, but, for some reason we are loving it!

 

I think part of my motivation comes from a book I've been reading this summer. It's called, "Kisses from Katie,"  and it's a true story about a 22 year old young woman whose mission trip to Uganda turns into a lifelong journey, including adopting 13 little girls. It's amazing! I don't know if I could ever do all that she has done in her short life (I'm twice her age), but, I am motivated and moved by her testimony.

 

In her book she shares her perspective about adoption and it really hit home . . . ADOPTION is a redemptive response to tragedy that happens in this broken world.  Adoption is a beautiful picture of REDEMPTION. It is the Gospel in my living room. And every single day, no matter how difficult, it is worth it because adoption is God's heart.

 

The first word that appears when I look adoption in the dictionary is ACCEPTANCE. God accepts us and adores us, just the way we are. In Ephesians it says that God "predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will." God sets the lonely in families . . . and our family is so excited for Him to do just that . . . we are anxious to Accept, Adore, and Love a new precious child. 



Be Still

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble . . . Be still, and KNOW THAT I AM GOD; . . .  the Lord Almighty is with us. ( Psalm 46)

This morning I am meditating on this scripture . . .  especially the BE STILL part. I definitely have trouble sometimes not just busying my self with task after task. I push myself throughout the day to accomplish whatever goal I have set, or whatever project I have before me. Even with adoption, there are SO many "to do's" on my never-ending list.

I know that the Lord has gifted me to be a "doer" and that often carries our family through . . . but, I am also learning to be a "listener" in this journey of faith.  Some days He says GET UP! Go out and sell donuts, go meet with people and tell them about the HUGE problem of orphans in the world today.  Other times, I hear him telling me to BE STILL and trust that HE IS GOD . . . He's got my back :) 

He sees and knows all that I have on my "to do" list. Even though all of the projects and goals may be "important" or "helpful" He says that it can wait. He says to SLOW DOWN . . . look around at the BLESSINGS . . . take a moment to BREATHE in the richness of this life I am LIVING NOW . . . enjoy TODAY!



A New Haiti - video

This video was made while Phil and I visited the orphanage in Titanyen. It is exciting to be a part of the ministry of "A New Haiti" . . .  the Lord is allowing us to become advocates for orphans . . .  through supporting the children at the orphanage and through our adoption of a little boy we have the privilege of witnessing God's power. He is a father to the fatherless.

It takes a Village . . .

I think it's safe to say that we've all heard the common saying "It takes a village to raise a child."  Well, as we move forward into the HOME STUDY phase of our adoption journey, I definitely keep rolling that phrase over in my mind.  We live in the wonderful community of Fort Mill, South Carolina. Our neighborhood of Baxter, was actually planned out to be a "front porch" neighborhood, modeled after 1950's ideals and "the good ole days" of sitting on your front porches, chatting with your neighbors . . . opposing our tech savvy generation of "screen time" and isolation.  I'm starting to see and experience the two lifestyles merging together as we have been blessed with online cheerleaders and community friends and neighbors joining our journey. Over the past weeks, we have witnessed the generosity of loved ones coming alongside us financially and through prayer to bring in the FULL FEE required to start our home study.  We have also praised the Lord over friends and neighbors joining the cause HelpOrphans737.org to sponsor children in the orphanage we are helping in Titanyen, Haiti (we are still praying for the remaining orphans to be sponsored).

I have been asking the Lord to give me BRIGHT IDEAS about how to fundraise for our adoption from Haiti. The tough reality is that I'm NOT that creative, or crafty, or ingenious when it comes to fundraising. The best thing Phil and I have going for us is the wonderful four children God gave us (who BEG to have lemonade stands, car washes, and bake sales, etc.) and the fact that we live in such an amazing community.

We brainstormed as a family, and the kids came up with some AWESOME ideas . . . from American Idol shows, to cotton candy sales, to sewing pillows, freethrow contests  . . .the list goes on. After some prayer and some investigation, we made a plan to take baby steps by trying one idea at a time.

Our first baby step is DOUGHNUTS, yes, you heard it right, Krispy Kreme Doughnuts.  You may soon see our family out in front of our house, or walking with our wagon, or going door to door to sell doughnuts.  Believe me, this is the first of many humbling factors we must endure on this adoption journey. I'm sure we will be humbled many more times, but, IT'S TOTALLY WORTH IT!!  We have committed as a family to do whatever it takes to make a difference in the life of a child.  Our hearts and our home are open   . . .  we desperately long to make an impact in the lives of Orphans in Haiti . . . . YES! IT MAY TAKE A VILLAGE . . .  But with the Lord's help and working together we can do it! 

Please keep us in your prayers  . . .  and feel free to share more ideas :)



HIS proper time - HIS full provision

Galatians 6:9-10  "Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers."

Wow! What a family of believers I have been adopted into. My brothers and sisters in Christ have answered God's call to help our family in this next step toward adoption.

I woke up this morning to find a text message on my phone from a close teacher friend of mine and sister in the Lord . . .  A few minutes later a message on FB from a friend from our Home Fellowship group . . . . This afternoon Phil called to tell me that two families had made donations to helporphans737 toward our adoption . . . . then when I got home and checked the mail . . . . there were two checks . . . . all totaling exactly what we need for our Home Study fees!!! In ONE day, the Lord provided exactly what we needed, at exactly the TIME we needed it!! All praise and glory to HIM!

When we were at the orphanage in Haiti in April, I can't describe the JOY that I felt when I was with those children. I thought I would feel uncomfortable, but, it was the complete opposite. I felt overjoyed!  We still don't know WHICH child the Lord has chosen for our family, but, we are SO THANKFUL that He has helped us get over this first mountain.  Yes, I know that there are many more mountains to get over before we bring our little boy home . . .  but, I am enjoying the climb :)

A wise friend recently encouraged me that God might not want us to SEE and KNOW that He will give us ALL the money we will need to complete the whole adoptions process. She said, "He might want to teach you TRUST Him along the way, with each deadline, each bit of paperwork, each fee that comes along the journey." 

In HIS PROPER TIME . . . .  We will reap a harvest.

Sweet silly boys :)

Each orphan longs for a Father

Getting tears from the Lord - holding baby Shinaison
  

Precious Ellie captured my heart

 Can't wait for the next step of this journey!

Thank you Jesus!

So, I can’t contain myself! I HAVE to share this praise report. J

 

FIRST - I was driving to school this morning WITHOUT Lily in the car, which is unusual to begin with (she is staying home today). Let me back up a little bit – ever since we have decided to move forward with adopting a little boy from Haiti I keep hearing songs on the radio that really touch my heart. I remembered someone posting a song about children in Haiti about a year ago, but, I couldn’t remember the name or the artist and I really wanted to hear it again. As soon as I started up my car this morning, I recognized that THE SONG was playing on 94.1 . . . . they rarely tell you at the end of the song what the name & artist are BUT today they did!! I enjoyed listening to “Kings and Queens – by Audio Adrenaline”  . . . smiling and getting goose bumps, I just praised the Lord through the whole song. I petitioned the Lord one more time, to help us adopt a little boy. We have had the heart to do this, but, haven’t had all the finances lined up. I surrendered it to Him once again and felt a peace wash over me.

 

THEN, the next song that came on . . . by Brandon Heath  . . . I heard these words:

I felt it first when I was younger

A strange connection to the light

I tried to satisfy the hunger, I never got it right

I never got it right

 

So I climbed a mountain and built an altar

Looked out as far as I could see

And every day I'm getting older, I'm running out of dreams

I'm running out of dreams

 

But your love, your love

The only thing that matters is

Your love, your love

Is all I have to give

Your love is enough to light up the darkness

It's your love, your love

All I ever needed is your love

 

I cried out to the LORD . . . I don’t NEED to have this dream work out, I don’t have to adopt to find joy, ALL I NEED is YOUR LOVE!! I was loving this awesome time alone with God.

 

LAST PART OF THE STORY -  I walked into the school office. Looked in my teacher mail box to find a sealed envelope with my name on it. Hmmm? I opened it to find a $100 bill and the following verses and message – ANONYMOUSLY!  I couldn’t believe it!

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” –James 1:17

“And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.” –Matthew 18:5

“From the rising of the sun to the setting of the same, the name of the LORD is to be praised.” –Psalm 113:3

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” –Romans 12:12

 

Thank you Jesus, for blessing me through this day and whoever this anonymous person is. Please bless everyone who reads this email. Let it grow their faith to know that you DO hear and you DO listen. Amen.

 

If you would like to watch the video of Audio Adrenaline’s song about the children in Haiti, go to this link:

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=WDGYYGNX

Feel free to pass this on J